Sunday, February 28, 2010
Thursday, August 7, 2008
After the wedding, we were all standing around talking and crying. At this point, I was pregnant and my dress had changed slightly to accommodate the bulge, but no one could really tell that I was pregnant. All the guys in the wedding party were now wearing matching Old Navy Polo's that were navy blue and white striped. I asked Jolene why she didn't want them formal and she said because they are not that kind of people and Dusty wanted to be casual.
Then everyone started passing cards and notes around to each other. They were like thank you notes or whatever and everyone was being all sentimental. We went to some one's house after and everyone was just hanging out, like there hadn't been a wedding at all. I thought this was kind of weird, but then I thought to myself "Well, I guess this was only a renewal of the vows, so I guess there's no need for a big reception." (??? LOL) (END)
Friday, June 20, 2008
I had a "roommate", but Will and I were married too. My roommate was Nagmai Keli'i from our ward in Ewa Beach.
I was furiously trying to pack and throw things into boxes and suitcases. Will was standing around not doing anything and kept asking me what he could do to help, which was just irritating me more. Why couldn't he just look around and see all the junk lying around?
Anyway, Nagmai and I shared a room and I had a huge air mattress that resembled the one we slept on in Hawaii. I was mad at myself for not cleaning out more stuff and selling it in the yard sale. I kept thinking to myself that I could have made a ton more money if I would have just looked around. I told Nagmai that she could have the mattress and sheets and stuff, but I just needed to clean under it. So Will lifted it up and the floor under there was covered in little tiny toys and pieces to game sets. So I just started throwing them all into a box. Will asked me why I didn't just throw it away and I said because they go to things that I have already packed.
I went out into the living room and the 2 suitcases he and I had packed and were planning to take had grown to about 15 boxes and bags. I was so irritated because all this time I had been thinking we were going to get home with everything we needed in just a couple of bags. (END)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
They ended up putting me on the next flight and I was crying and upset the whole time.
The plane made a "pit stop" landing at this bus station looking place. There was like a little mall and all these food places to eat. I just wandered around to pass the time and came to this area that had a long stainless steel lined hallway with a McDonald's sign hanging on the side. There was a girl standing at the front of the hallway giving people their food. I walked up to her and told her I wanted a chicken burger and a cheeseburger. She said ok that will be $40. I said "40 DOLLARS?! How 'bout $5?" She said in this weird robotic tone "That'll be $40...That'll be $40...That'll be $40...That'll be $40...". So I threw a $5 at her and left with my food.
As I was heading back to where the plane was "parked". I saw Mariah and Brinlee walking across the sidewalk. I ran over to them and we hugged and I asked them if they were ok. They said yes and that they had fun. I begged the stewardess at the door to let me get my stuff off the other plane and ride with them, and she agreed.
Then it switched and I was back at the Honolulu Airport and I was saying bye to my mom and dad. My brother Ross was walking with me to carry my luggage and I just kept sobbing and sobbing. He was hugging me saying that it's ok, I know you'll miss Hawaii, but you'll be so much happier close to family.
I left with my stuff and went to wait for my plane. I just kept sobbing and sobbing and couldn't control myself. (END)
Friday, June 13, 2008
When it turned to night, our backdoor garage neighbor (who in real life was my friend Cynthia that was NOT my back door neighbor) was peeking out her door to see if I knew where my kids were. I guess they had gone there earlier in the day and I didn't even notice they were gone. She closed the door when she saw me and then I started talking to her through her open kitchen window. I kept apologizing that my kids were bothering her and she said it was no big deal that they just played, etc. She gave us a goodbye plate of cookies and I went back home.
I was starting to get frustrated because I couldn't get a hold of Will and he was supposed to be home helping me pack. Then we just left and met him at the airport to fly to the mainland (END)
Friday, April 18, 2008
The first thing I remember is that I had given birth and the baby was at the hospital in the NICU. I was driving down Boones Ferry Rd toward my parents house and I got a call from my sister-in-law, Monica saying she got my message about the baby being sick, but she didn't know the baby died. My heart dropped! I gasped and couldn't get another breath. I also didn't know the baby had died. All I could do was pull into my parents driveway and sob like I have never cried before in my life. It was an all consuming, breath-taking sob that I could not control.
At some point I had been trying to get a hold of Will, but he wasn't answering and I was told that he drove to NYC to attend a church ward meeting. I was so upset! When I did finally talk to him I told him the whole series of events right up until Monica called and said she didn't know the baby was dead. He said "WHAT?!"
Then I was at the hospital and I was crying and yelling and the nurses at the station in labor an delivery wouldn't tell me where the baby was. Then one of them started crying and told me quietly that the baby was on the 7th floor in the nursery. I got on an elevator and my mom was there comforting me. That elevator was the slowest I have ever been on and I couldn't figure out why we weren't getting there. Then I realized that it had been going down instead of up and it was going WAY down. We finally picked up some old lady and then it started going up. When we reached the 7th floor, I went into the nursery saying, "I am Brinlee Erickson's mom, where is she" (Brinlee??). They handed me this framed plaque thing that had her picture and a bunch of cards and stuff signed. They were avoiding telling me where she was. There were rows and rows of baby bassinettes full of little babies. Then they pointed to this metal counter with a sink and there was a teeny tiny little brand newborn baby laying there on it's side and it was naked. As I ran over, I noticed they had covered the baby with saran wrap and the side of her little face was pressed against the plastic. I was freaking out! I was crying and screaming and dying inside. I asked my friend, who was suddenly there with me (it was either Taryn or Dotty) if she had a camera because I forgot mine and I wanted pictures. The baby did look like Brinlee, but I ended calling her by different names throughout the dream. I told the nurse that I wanted to hold her and they said no. I went to grab the baby and she said "NO!" we have to fix her first. When I looked back down there was this heavy metal thing twisted like a spring coil around her body with THICK screws sticking out all over. Some guy came over with an electric saw and started shaving the screws off and ended up shaving parts of the babies hair off. I was upset that they ruined her hair because I wanted to take some pictures. When they handed her to me I was smiling and crying and hugging her. I was carrying her around talking and singing. Then I realized that the baby kept making little noises and her eyes were fluttering. I went to the nurse and told her and she said "No, honey, sometimes grieving parents want to see movements, but she's gone". I was insisting that I heard her to anyone that would listen, then she opened her eyes and started cooing at me. She was saying "mamamama" (a newborn?). I showed the nurse and the baby stopped, but she was breathing and the nurse grabbed her and checked her. The nurse was moving so slow like she didn't believe it and didn't want to admit that she made a mistake. I said, "You know I hope that she doesn't have brain damage now from your little saran wrap stunt" and she said really quietly "yeah, me too".
Then Will and my dad showed up and my dad hugged me. (END)
Monday, February 25, 2008
I checked in at the office I was sent to by a temp agency and she gave me 2 folders. One had my name on and the other had my interview time on it, which was 5:15. It was about 5:05 and so I decided to use the restroom beforehand. After I used the restroom, I, absent-mindedly walked out of the bathroom and down the hallway toward the escalators. I got in my car and drove all the way home (about 25 minutes). Just as I arrived home, the sprinklers came on in the front yard and they were the kind that shoot up and around like a ticker. (That is the kind my dad used to water the lawn when I was growing up). When I got out of the car, my hair got drenched. As I walked into the house, Will was showering the kids and in that moment, I snapped back to reality and realized that I left the building without doing the interview. I started to run out the door, but I realized that my hair was soaked, but not my clothes. I ran into the bathroom and was brushing furiously trying to get all the tangles out. I decided that if I didn't take the time to blow dry it I could make it back to that office for the interview. I knew I'd be a little late and the entire time I was driving back I was making up excuses for why I was late. I thought I'd tell them that I'd just found out I was pregnant and that I was feeling sick and didn't realize how long I'd been in the bathroom, etc. Just then I was thinking I'd have made it back, only being 15, maybe 20 minutes late (Hello! I had to drive all the way home, get wet, brush my hair, and then drive all the way back. Dream time....??) When I looked at the clock to gauge how much time I had left, it said 7:15. I was panicked. I thought there is no way these people are gonna believe I was in the bathroom for 2 hours. And I was worried that no one would be there since it was so late in the evening. So decided that I would tell them the truth.
I got back to the building and there were people everywhere. I went to the elevator to go up to the 2nd floor from the parking garage. As I was approaching the elevators a man got on the elevator going up and I shouted HOLD IT! HOLD IT! and he ignored me and let it close. I was SO MAD! The nerve of that guy! So the next elevator came and I went up to the office. The secretary looked at me with this stunned look. I tried to explain to her what happened, but I couldn't spit it out. I just kept stammering, so I finally just asked if the interviewer was still there. She said yes, but that she was on the 25th floor in a meeting.
So I went back to the elevator, but I couldn't find it! I was running around through this maze of corridors trying to find the cubby area with the elevators. When I finally found it, I got to the 25th floor and nearly knocked the interviewer lady over as I was coming off the elevator. She recognized me (even though I'd never met her before) and I explained to her that I had just found out I was pregnant and that I don't know what came over me. I told her I'd gone to use the bathroom and then absent mindedly went home. She told me to follow her and we went to this break room area where there was a group of women having a meeting. I sat in on the meeting (I don't recall what it was about or what was said). After it was over, I stood up and said, I am really sorry, I just want to apologize to you all for being so late and then went into the long involved story of what had happened. They all just sat there staring at me, looking like they were thinking, "And we care, WHY?!" Then the interviewer lady said to me that they were really looking for someone with a college degree and that they had already hired someone from an earlier interview. I protested saying that some people consider 1 year of cosmetology school like going to college. (PSH!!!) (END)
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I flew to England with my parents and my sister (I think it was supposed to be Jackie, but it didn't really look like her and she seemed younger than me, but not). Anyway, we got to this very English looking hotel and were talking to the gal at the counter. She was saying that they didn't have our reservation and my dad was starting to get frustrated, but she was super friendly and said that she would take care of everything. So she checked us into a room. We were supposed to have 3 separate rooms for some reason, but they didn't have 3. Knowing, what I know about the tiny OLD hotels in England, I was worried that I would have to sleep on the dirty floor, so I asked her how the room was set up, like was there 2 beds and what size. She said, oh, no need to worry! This room is a 3 bedroom suite!
As we were making our way to the room, we went into this kind of dark stairwell that had very few windows. And the windows were up near the ceiling, so you couldn't really see outside. I kept asking my dad what time is it? I forgot to reset my watch on the airplane (which is something my dad is very adamant about when we travel. ALWAYS set your watch to local time while still on the plane ). They kept saying they didn't know, but that it was probably about 8 o'clock in the morning. Just then, I caught a glimpse of outside and it was dark. I said, you must have set your watch wrong, it must be 8 at night.
Then we got into the rental car (without going to the room) and drove through the English countryside for a long time. I was soaking it all in and didn't want to miss anything. It wasn't dark anymore and it was a beautiful day.
We arrived at this huge sprawling farm house. The property was very uneven and partially un-developed. The house seemed really old and piece-mealed (sp) together. My dad dropped me and my 4 kids off there (ya, they showed up somehow), and we were walking around the property trying to figure out if anyone was home. I knocked on the front door and there was no answer, but I could hear people moving around in the house. So went around to the back door and it was open, so we went in. The house was huge and not a traditional layout. There were long and short staircases everywhere that lead to different levels and rooms. Each bedroom had one or two of their kids in it. (Our friends in England have 10 children).
When Jean, the mom, came into the kitchen, she was so happy to see us! I felt disappointed, in the dream, because it didn't really feel like the welcome that I'd expected. I wanted to know where April (who is actually my cousin from Utah, but she was their daughter in this dream. Their daughter, Amy, is my age and who I am really close to) was. They said they weren't sure, but that Shannon (who?!) was in the bedroom. Shannon kind of resembled my friend Amy and all throughout the dream I kept forgetting her name. I chatted with Shannon for a few minutes, but then her punk looking boyfriend showed up and they went to her room and closed the door . So I went to some of the other rooms to chat with some of the other siblings. Brooke (Aprils sister, my other cousin from UT) was in one of the rooms and she was SO excited to see me. We talked for a long time and I told her that I was really excited to see April and that I was hoping she would've been there when I arrived. She said that April had been away a lot and that she hadn't been spending a lot of time with the family.
When April finally arrived, she was with her boyfriend. He was this blonde kid, with long-ish, kinda shaggy hair and was supposedly in a rock band. April was super stand-offish and was reluctant to talk to me (which we used to be really close and talk all the time). She told me that she had been gone for about 842 (LOL) days and only been home for a couple days here and there. She said that she had been touring with her bf's band. She looked super unhappy. I wanted her to talk to me, but her bf was hanging on her like a leach and I knew she wouldn't talk to me with him there. They left for a while and I was really upset. I went to talk to Shannon, but when I got to her room, I pulled back this curtain that was hung around her bed and she and her punk bf were half naked making out on the bed . So I left and went to find Brooke, but she wasn't there. I went outside by myself and was walking around on this kinda of terraced part of the yard. I could see a road and some huge trees and I was just wandering around thinking about everything that happened. I saw my kids playing in the yard and they kept saying HI MOM! HI MOMMY! But I wasn't really listening. I think I waved at them, but just kept walking.
My parents showed up and then we were all chatting with Jean. Then we were in the kitchen and the back door busts open and 4 of my siblings show up. Jackie and Jay came in first, then Megan and then Paula. I was so surprised. They were all laughing because they thought they were so funny trying to surprise me. I kept trying to go up to each one of them individually to whisper in their ear that Shannon was sleeping with her bf (???), but no one would listen, except for her older brother. When I told him, he flew into her room and started trying to fight with Shannon's bf tellling him not to disrespect his sister like that. (END)
Friday, November 9, 2007
Then I needed to go to the grocery store, so I asked Will to take me. Asia and Tatum were crying so we took them with us. We went to the grocery store which was the Roth's IGA on 99E in Woodburn and as we were walking on the sidewalk in front of the store, I saw my Aunt Janet walking toward the front door and she had a shopping cart with 2 small kids inside. She whispered my name and asked me to hold the door for her, but as I rounded the corner to the door, it was automatic and it opened by itself. She walked inside without saying anything and Will and I decided to go to the dollar store next door to look. I was telling him how weird it was that she asked me to hold the door when it was automatic. (END)
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Sunday, November 4, 2007
In this dream I am trying to get a job at this posh kind of hip restaurant and all the girls that work there are like really tall and thin and super trendy. When I walked in they were all looking at me like, What is SHE doing here. The owner was also very trendy and pretty, but she was very friendly. She took my application and talked to me and said that she would get in touch with me. All the other girls were standing around rolling their eyes and whispering. I was getting so mad, but I was covering it up and focusing on having a friendly conversation with the owner.
When I left, I went to this little like Ma and Pa country store and the little old man that was the owner kind of reminded me of Will's uncle Stanley Erickson. He and his wife ran a little store and kind of like soda pop counter. There was one really friendly looking young girl that worked there for them and he asked me if I would consider coming to work for them. So I said yes, since I was looking for work. Well there wasn't much to do and I felt bad that they were paying me just to sit there, so I picked up a sponge outside and started washing their old gold colored boat of a car. The man just smiled and didn't say anything, but the other young girl was like What are you doing?! You don't have to do that. If there is nothing to do, we can just leave or sit around to keep them company. I was like, I know, but I am bored and I WANT to wash the car for them.
Then it switched and I was going back to the posh restaurant to check on my application there, but when I got there, my application was sitting on the front counter and it wasn't filled out. I started feeling so embarrassed and kept apologizing to the owner that I didn't complete it with my work history. So I took a pen to fill it in, but I was completely blank, I couldn't remember any of the places I had worked or who I had worked with. I was telling her, I swear I have work history. I am so sorry that I am being so retarded right now, I just can't think straight! (END)
I know I said I didn't want my dreams analyzed and I still don't, but now when I think back on the posh part of the dream. The girls kind of reminded me of the models from America's Next Top Model and the owner reminded me of Tyra Banks (though they didn't while I was dreaming, they only do now that I am awake and remembering the dream back).
Also, whenever I have dreamed about Garden Park before and also in this dream, I am always thinking, WOW, I can't believe I actually missed this place. Gosh, this feels like home. Or, I can't believe we are actually moving back to this condo after swearing that we would NEVER live in UT again! (END)
Friday, October 26, 2007
As we walked out of the salon, he says "I am so unhappy with this hair cut. I think I am just going to have you cut it off when we get home. It looks so ridiculous."
I was so irritated. I told him that was really dumb to pay that much for a trim just to turn around and have me shave it off. I got all upset at him and he couldn't figure out what I was getting so upset about. (END)
That's all I could remember. I know that it was longer and there was more involved, I just can't put it together in my head to have it make sense.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The first was just a snippet. I am just hanging out at my current home in Ocean Pointe in Ewa Beach, HI and the Kirby saleslady comes to the door to try and get us to let them clean our carpet and I am standing there in the doorway in only my under-garments (basically like underwear). She seems embarrassed and I am only embarrassed because she seems uncomfortable. (END)
The dream started out as an original. I was in a school type setting and sitting in the desk behind me was Kelly Clarkson (a singer). She was talking to me and seemed like she was really interested in being my friend. Then, she was suddenly a member of the church. Well, then she was suddenly going through the temple for the first time and I think I was supposed to be her escort.
I have had this dream about the Temple a couple of times and the setting is always the same, but it looks nothing like what the temple actually looks like. The "recommend desk" is in a kind of retail, almost Deseret Book/BYU Bookstore type setting with racks and racks of apparel and shelves of books and supplies. After you show the recommend you walk down this kind of winding path.
Last night, I was late for the session and didn't have my clothing (as per usual with this particular dream). So I sent Kelly through the recommend desk and I was madly trying to gather my stuff. Well, I ended up missing the session. So I decided to go and shower. (???) These showers (as per usual) were off to the side of the retail section and are mixed gender. Guys are supposedly on one side and girls on the other, but there is just one row of stalls on one side and another row on the other side with no seperation. The shower room is always very dim and hard to see. This particular time, I went into a stall and realized after I had already undressed that I didn't have a towel. So I "snuck" (naked) out to the retail area and grabbed 2 towels off the stack just outside the door. When I went back to my shower stall, there was about 5 inches of standing water in there and I was freaking out because I can't stand it when the tub or shower fills with water while I am showering. So I grabbed my towels and the ends of them accidentally flopped into the water. I couldn't see very well, but I could tell that the bottoms of them were soaked. So I decide to try another stall, but they are all full of water. I can see that the guys ones are not, so I decide to sneak and use one other theirs. I get into the "stall" and start to shower only to realize that it's not individual stalls, but just one big open area with shower heads and then across a half wall is a sitting area where people can sit and wait (fully clothed on sofa's and lounge chairs). Well I notice these people and decide not to shower yet. I go to get my bag and realize that I don't have soap or shampoo anyway. So I am suddenly wandering around in just my under-garments and I see Kelly (Clarkson) sitting over in one the chairs kind of off in a dim-ish corner. She is also wearing only her under-garments and is talking to this guy. When I wander over to find out how her session went, I realize that she is talking to Sergio Salzano (a very old friend of mine from Las Vegas). So I get cozy in the same arm chair with Kelly and we are all just chatting. She asks me if I am going to shower and I tell her the story of what happened to me. She points out that the showers are open now and so I go to get my bag again, remembering that I don't have shampoo. So I notice Kelly's bag next to mine and I sneakily try to see if she has shampoo and soap. I find the shampoo right away and it's (UGH) Suave. I decide it's better than nothing.
Suddenly the dream switches and we are all on school buses headed for a church to have a potluck. I spend the entire time looking for Kelly. Then as we are cleaning up after the meal, this huge helicopter keeps flying over the church making a ton of noise. Now Will is there and he insists that we need to get in the car and chase it. So we do and spend the rest of the dream driving after this helicopter. (END)